Under Blankets of Sadness and Despair

 

I’m not posting different gestures and examples to show that love is always lovely and good. Plenty can be said about the trials, frustrations, and difficulties that surface and fester.

I’ll be the first to admit that.

I’ll do that by sharing a poem I wrote January 6, 2012, when my life was falling apart. As I mentioned in The Insatiable Impetus to Write, committed and promised love betrayed me and wedged a pain so far and deep I wasn’t sure I would ever be able to rise to the surface for air. But I couldn’t stop functioning, because lives depended on it. I struggled with whether trust could be ever be possible again.

Here it is:

Under Blankets of Sadness and Despair

That this day I am paralyzed with pain,

bouncing merrily and joyfully I cannot feign.

Covered under blankets of sadness and despair,

no clue have I in how my soul is to bear.

To lose myself in loneliness and sorrow

forgetting, forsaking others and morrow

is worlds apart from what I intend,

but how do I send my broken heart to mend?

Some how, some way,

Lord strengthen my spirits and me, heartily listening, may I,

so that Christ in me, others will see.

                                                              Lily Chang

                                                              January 6, 2012