headache, hurt, pain

Blinding Blunder

2018July24MeiLiHidingDuringStormSMALL
Lily Chang © 2018

I’m nursing a headache that makes me want to curl up in the dark, in the quiet, because my head is about to explode and I feel like throwing up.

I feel like I’ve been dragged onto a crazy, turbulent, nothing-makes-sense train. Everyone’s arguing about everything and nothing of significance. People have loads to say about their desires and preferences, and they’ve thrown cooperation, kindness, and getting along to the wind. Attack!

No, please. I really need quiet. Just a little bit of quiet. And perhaps solitude.

Goodness still exists, right?

It does. I’m here not just to talk about it but to show it.

It exists.

What I’m doing here is — encouraging others, showing people that love is very much alive, in the midst of ugliness and chaos, and walking alongside them.

Then, why am I experiencing doubt? Seeing more ugliness than goodness? And having trouble seeing straight?

2018July30BlurryRoseSMALL
Lily Chang © 2018

Maybe a simple fix will do.

Taking a nap,

or drawing or painting a picture,

or building LEGOs, will be a good start.

Off I go.

Over and out.

2 thoughts on “Blinding Blunder”

  1. I had a not-quite-that-bad-mid morning with my work (that is, I didn’t end up with a headache curled up in the dark and expecting to throw up). However, it was not much fun. Work colleagues was where they were supposed to be. E-mails I sent triggered those return e-mails announcing that the recipient was on vacation and wouldn’t be available. Hmmm. (First I hear about that.) And those who were available weren’t doing what they were supposed to do. Those who answered my questions today (submitted previously via e-mail) provided answers that raised as many questions (or more) than they answered. Or they responded to my e-mail announcing they’d need more time to answer the questions I raised, and they’d get back to me tomorrow. Maybe. Things did not go as planned. Now they never do, actually. But this was a degree of “not going as planned” I usually don’t see, particularly on a Monday when, presumably, folks are energetic and refreshed after a weekend off. About 12:50 p.m., I decided a quick fix was in order. I took the nap route. Good decision. When i woke up, guess what? Things got better. Some of my recalcitrant colleagues actually came around with the goods. Some things got done after all!

    Liked by 1 person

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